It’s completely normal to have moments of self-doubt, wondering if we’re doing enough or doing it the “right” way.
And we all wonder how to be a good mother from time to time, myself included.
But here’s the thing, Mama: there is no one-size-fits-all manual to being a good mother.
It’s about navigating the daily demands and unexpected twists of raising children as a new mother while staying true to yourself.
That’s why I’m so excited to share my journey as a mom with you all. After years of being a mother, I’ve gained much wisdom and learned mom hacks that I can’t wait to pass on to you!
Together, we’ll explore practical ways to practice love and respect, create healthy boundaries, and build strong parent-child bonds.
Being a good mother is about more than just meeting your child’s basic needs. It’s all about:
- Being a healthy mom yourself- who takes care of her mental and physical well-being
- Fostering loving and respectful relationships
- Prioritizing time together
- Setting boundaries
- Getting through the hard times together
- Teaching them life skills– for how to treat themselves and others
How To Be A Good Mother
1. Prioritize Being Together
One of the most important things about being a good mother is spending quality time with your children. Never forget to include kids’ one-on-one time!
You don’t need to plan elaborate outings or expensive vacations to create meaningful memories; sometimes, the simple activities of daily life can have the biggest impact.
Whether reading a book together, going for a walk, or simply sitting down to chat about their day, these moments of connection are invaluable in nurturing your relationship.
It’s also important to be present and engaged during your time together.
Listen attentively to your child’s thoughts, ask open-ended questions, and genuinely show interest in their lives and interests.
2. Respect For Them & Yourself
Respect is important in any healthy relationship, especially in the parent-child dynamic. Your child is a human being, too, and deserves respect, just like anyone else.
And respecting your child’s thoughts, feelings, and boundaries teaches valuable life lessons about empathy, communication, and self-worth.
This includes listening without judgment, acknowledging their emotions, and validating their experiences.
But it’s not just about respecting your child; it’s also about respecting yourself, Mama!
When you model healthy self-esteem and expect respect from them, you’re creating a positive environment and teaching them the importance of valuing themselves and others.
3. Engage & Understand Your Kiddo
In your role as a mother, engaging with your child on a deeper level is important to understand their perspective and individuality.
Each child is unique, with their own set of needs, interests, and emotions.
Pay attention to their likes, dislikes, and personal challenges, and tailor your parenting approach to suit their needs.
Taking the time to truly understand your child builds a stronger bond and fosters their emotional intelligence and resilience.
Encourage open communication, listen with empathy, and validate their feelings.
4. Be Affectionate In Ways They Like
Showing affection is crucial to being a good mother, but it’s important to recognize that each child has their own preferences regarding receiving love and affection.
My children may enjoy hugs and cuddles, but others might prefer verbal affirmations or acts of service.
Paying attention to your child’s needs and preferences allows you to express affection in ways that resonate with them and strengthen your bond.
If you need help figuring out how your children like to receive affection, read The Five Love Languages of Children by Gary Chapman. It’s brilliant!
5. Set Rules & Boundaries That Everyone Follows
Establishing clear rules and boundaries is necessary to raise children with love and respect.
Setting consistent expectations and consequences for everyone in the household to follow – including you – promotes fairness, trust, and a sense of security.
Explain the rules to your children, involve them in the decision-making process, and be prepared to enforce consequences when necessary. Trust me – they’ll test them!
Flexibility and understanding are important, too, especially when dealing with more than one child, as each child is unique.
An older child may require different approaches to discipline and guidance than a younger child, so adjust things over time.
6. Learn Child Development (& Not 1 Size Fits All)
Understanding child development is crucial to being a good mother.
Staying informed about the various stages of growth and development enables you to better support your child’s physical, emotional, and cognitive needs.
This knowledge enables you to provide age-appropriate guidance, activities, and expectations, ensuring you nurture your child’s full potential.
Take the time to learn about your child’s strengths, weaknesses, and learning styles, and tailor your approach accordingly.
Doing so helps you to support your child’s growth and development better and fosters a strong, loving relationship.
7. Know The Power Of “I’m Sorry”
Apologizing when necessary is a powerful lesson in humility and responsibility for you and your child.
When you make a mistake or lose your patience, acknowledging your error and offering a sincere apology teaches your child the importance of taking responsibility for their actions.
It also helps your child understand that it’s okay to make mistakes and that learning and growth come from recognizing and addressing our shortcomings.
Modeling this behavior fosters a healthy and supportive environment for your child’s emotional growth where they are kind to you and others.
8. There’s No Such Thing As Perfect
The most important thing to remember is that there is no “perfect mom.” She just doesn’t exist, and you don’t need to suffer mom guilt over that!
In reality, every mother makes mistakes from time to time, but what sets you apart is that you learn from them.
Embrace these imperfections and focus on providing unconditional love, care, and support for your child rather than striving for unattainable cleanliness and perfection.
Remember that your child doesn’t need a perfect mom; they need a loving, present, and engaged mother who does her best despite the inevitable challenges.
9. Talk About Feelings Openly
Open communication is essential to emotional intelligence and resilience.
Creating a safe space for your child to express their emotions teaches them valuable self-awareness, empathy, and emotional regulation skills.
Validate your child’s feelings, good or bad. Offer comfort and support, and help them develop healthy coping strategies for managing their emotions.
You’re helping your child build a strong foundation for a happy and successful life by fostering emotional intelligence.
10. Recognize When Both Of You Get Overwhelmed & Upset
It’s normal for parents and children to have overwhelming and upsetting moments. The key is to recognize these moments and find healthy ways to calm down and cope.
When you or your child feel overwhelmed, take a step back and give each other space to process and regroup.
Remember to take deep breaths to calm the mind and body. Prioritize self-care activities that help you relax and recharge before returning to the task at hand.
And seek support from friends, family members, or professionals when needed.
11. Don’t Forget Self-Care
As a mother, I know it’s easy to become consumed by your children’s needs and neglect your own well-being.
However, prioritizing self-care is important for maintaining your physical and emotional health. You can’t take care of everyone if you’re on the edge of burnout!
Plus, children learn healthy habits by watching you take care of yourself.
Make time for activities that bring you joy and relaxation, and don’t be afraid to ask for help when needed.
Don’t feel guilty for taking time out for yourself, either, Mama!
12. Encourage Independence & Autonomy
Nurturing independence and autonomy in your child is crucial for their overall growth and development.
As your child grows, you can do more things together, but you can also have them do their own thing for a little to get house stuff done and have you time.
But independence includes feeding themselves, dressing themselves, playing alone for a bit, and more.
In our house, it started as taking 20 minutes to read/color and play independently (including me!), and now the girls will let me know when they want to play alone.
I know it’s hard, but let them make choices, take risks, and learn from the natural consequences of their actions.
13. Show Support In Their Interests
Supporting your child’s interests and passions is vital to being a good mother and letting your children grow into their own person.
Even if their hobbies or pursuits differ from your own, show genuine interest and encouragement as they explore their passions.
Attend their events, help them practice, and provide resources and opportunities for them to engage in their interests.
Doing so fosters a strong parent-child bond, nurtures their talents, and helps them develop a sense of purpose and fulfillment.
14. Let Kids & You Have “Me Time”
Allowing both you and your child to have “me time” is crucial for promoting self-awareness, personal growth, and a healthy sense of independence.
Encourage your child to engage in activities that they enjoy, and also make time for yourself to unwind and recharge.
For example, I like swinging on our swing, but the girls would rather get on their bikes- they can go up and down the driveway, and I can watch as I swing.
You can mix things up to do something fun you like together and do something you enjoy while they do things they enjoy.
15. Have Fun Whenever Possible
And finally, making time for fun and laughter is important!
Cultivating a sense of fun and laughter strengthens bonds and creates lasting memories that will be cherished for years to come.
Plan activities your children love, such as playing board games, going on family outings, or having movie nights.
You can have a good routine as a mom but also embrace spontaneity and find joy in the everyday moments of life.
Get Support As A Mom
Navigating the challenges of motherhood can be overwhelming, but you don’t have to do it alone.
Remember, asking for help and leaning on other moms when needed is okay. It ensures your own well-being and sets a positive example for your children.
My blog is one place to find answers, but here are other spots for you to connect with other moms and families for help and support:
Follow Mom Blogs
The Savvy Mama is all about supporting each other, providing a community, and even giving you printables to control the chaos in family life.
Mom blogs offer a wealth of advice, inspiration, and shared experiences from fellow mothers who have faced similar challenges and triumphs.
Following mom blogs, such as this one, can provide valuable insights and tips on how to be a good mother.
I mentioned this blog, of course, but did you know I started a Savvy Mama Membership to connect moms for us to talk and even get monthly printables?
Check out the Savvy Mama Membership if you want to join an active community of mamas supporting each other and making life smoother one day at a time.
Get On Forums & Talk Things Through
Online forums provide a safe and supportive space for mothers to discuss their parenting challenges, share experiences, and receive advice from fellow moms.
Participating in these forums can offer new insights into parenting struggles, help you find workable solutions to your issues, and provide a sense of community and understanding.
Join these forums to connect with other mothers, learn from their experiences, and share your own wisdom and support.
Accept Real Criticism & Ignore Bad Advice
As a mother, it’s important to be open to constructive criticism and distinguish between helpful and unhelpful suggestions. I know it can be hard, though.
Learn to accept genuine feedback that can help you improve as a parent while disregarding opinions not based on facts or experience. Just let those go!
Doing so allows you to focus on what works best for your children and helps you to grow and learn in your parenting journey.
Involve Your Partner & Family
Including your partner and family members in parenting responsibilities is so important.
Sharing the joys and challenges of raising your children can strengthen your relationships and ensure everyone is on the same page regarding parenting decisions and strategies.
Communicate openly with your partner, set boundaries, and be flexible.
By working together as a team, you can provide the love, support, and guidance your child needs to thrive.
What are good behaviors for moms?
Good behaviors for mothers encompass a wide range of qualities. A good mother is patient, understanding, and supportive.
She is a role model, demonstrating the values she wishes her children to adopt, such as kindness, integrity, and respect.
She sets clear boundaries and enforces them fairly and consistently.
She also prioritizes quality time with her kids and understands the importance of self-care and personal growth.
A great mother acknowledges her mistakes and sees them as opportunities for learning and growth.
Most importantly, she loves her children unconditionally.
How do I better connect with my child?
To better connect with your child, spend quality time together doing what they love. Show genuine interest in what they say and do, fostering open, non-judgmental communication.
Be present in the moment, listen actively, and respond with empathy and understanding. Regularly express your love and affection, making sure they feel seen, heard, and valued.
Building a strong connection takes time and patience, so be consistent and intentional in your efforts.
What is “cold mother” syndrome?
“Cold mother” syndrome refers to a parenting style that lacks warmth, affection, and responsiveness toward the child’s needs.
It’s often associated with neglectful or dismissive behavior, making the child feel unloved, unimportant, or unnoticed.
This can harm a child’s emotional and psychological development, potentially leading to low self-esteem, difficulties forming healthy relationships, and increased vulnerability to mental health disorders.
However, it’s vital to remember that everyone can learn and grow in their parenting journey.
If a mother recognizes these tendencies, seeking professional help from a psychologist can provide strategies and techniques to foster a warmer relationship with her child.
How do I get through kid tantrums when feeling overwhelmed?
Managing a child’s tantrums when feeling overwhelmed can be challenging.
It helps to remain calm. Deep breaths can help lower stress levels and enable you to respond more rationally and thoughtfully.
Acknowledge your child’s emotions while calmly setting and enforcing boundaries for acceptable behavior, and tell them you both could use deep breaths.
Distraction can also be an effective way to defuse a tantrum. Try to redirect their attention to a different activity or topic.
If you’re regularly feeling overwhelmed, it’s important to seek support through friends, family, or professional resources.
How can I be a good mom even when stressed?
Being a good mom, even when stressed, involves practicing self-care, managing your stress effectively, and seeking support when needed.
Self-care isn’t just about spa days and chocolates; it’s about ensuring you’re physically, emotionally, and mentally in a good place to care for your children.
Regular exercise, healthy food choices, and adequate sleep can boost your physical health and resilience to stress.
Consider mindfulness practices like meditation or yoga, which can help manage stress and promote mental clarity.
Lastly, remember to communicate with your children. Let them know in age-appropriate terms that you’re feeling stressed, and reassure them that it’s a normal part of life that everyone experiences.
This not only validates your emotions, but it also teaches them a valuable lesson about handling stress.
Throughout my journey as a mother, I’ve learned that being a good mom is not about perfection but love, understanding, and support.
The strategies I’ve shared have helped me navigate the challenges of motherhood, allowing me to connect with my children and create an environment where we grow and thrive together.
You may have trouble along the way and get frustrated and tired, but keep moving forward and give yourself time to grow just as your kids are growing.
And remember, even when times get tough, you’re not alone – there’s a community of fellow moms out there who understand and support you in your journey.