A mother’s love knows no bounds, but the same can’t always be said for her energy levels. I’m sure you know what I mean, when our tanks hit empty and we struggle to keep going.
Mom burnout results from countless sleepless nights, the pressure to be the perfect parent and the constant juggling of childcare and other personal responsibilities.
Let me validate your feelings and share my realistic strategies for navigating burnout, recovering from it, and moving forward with a more balanced life.
Key Takeaways
- Mom burnout is a state of exhaustion caused by persistent stress. It can create feelings of inadequacy, emotional detachment, and a loss of passion for activities.
- Recovering from mom burnout involves intentional self-care, setting realistic expectations, and stress-management techniques like exercise, meditation, and proper nutrition.
- Creating a support system, spending quality time with your children, and embracing imperfection are crucial strategies for preventing mom burnout.
Mom Burnout
The term’ mom burnout’ is the name for the state we get into when toll that the ceaseless demands of parenting and the homestead harm our mental health.
It’s a state of emotional and physical exhaustion so profound that it seeps into every fiber of a mother’s being, leaving her feeling drained of vitality and joy.
This overwhelming exhaustion isn’t just about being tired; it’s a relentless fatigue that persists despite attempts at rest, and it’s an experience far too many moms know all too well.
Burnout doesn’t discriminate. It affects working moms and stay-at-home mothers alike, draining us all and leaving us in need of help.
Let me go more in-depth about the symptoms of parental burnout and why we get burnout in the first place:
Causes & Symptoms Of Mom Burnout
So, what lights the fuse for getting burnout? The causes are as intricate as the tapestry of motherhood itself. There’s:
- Unrelenting caregiving that knows no pause button
- Societal expectations that tower high (Insta-moms and doom scrolling!)
- Financial strains that tug at the seams
- Lack of support from partners or family members
- The immense volume of responsibilities (for both working mothers and SAHMs)
The symptoms of mom burnout can be as varied as the moms who experience them, yet many of us share common threads in their stories of exhaustion.
Some common symptoms of mom burnout include:
- Feeling like an inadequate parent despite giving your all (even imposter syndrome)
- Experiencing “mom rage” and a “hair trigger” due to constant exhaustion
- Losing passion for once-loved activities
- Feeling overwhelmed on a daily basis
- Having emotional detachment
- Isolation from family and friends
- Limited patience
- Difficulty managing daily tasks
Are any of these sticking out to you, matching how you’re feeling? Understanding how you’re reacting to stress and what might be causing your burnout is important so we can improve things.
These problems can be chronic and debilitating if we don’t actively try to take care of ourselves and change the situations we’re struggling through.
Recovering From Burnout
Amidst the chaos, there’s a beacon of hope for mothers navigating the murky waters of mommy burnout.
Adopting strategies to manage mom burnout is akin to putting on your oxygen mask first; it’s not just beneficial; it’s necessary.
From focusing on quality time with your children to setting boundaries, the road to recovery will help your well-being and make it easier to focus on fun and family no matter the strife you face.
As I share my strategies for reducing mom burnout, remember that the journey to rediscover your happier self requires patience and understanding.
So start using these techniques in your everyday life and give yourself time and space to recover from burnout!
1. Focusing On Quality Time
In the hustle of daily life, it’s easy for quantity to overshadow quality time when we’re always on the go.
But what if I told you that the secret to reducing mom burnout might lie in those precious, undisturbed moments we have alone or with our kiddos?
Quality time isn’t about packing the schedule with big activities either; it’s about the depth of connection, the laughter shared over a game of make-believe, or the stories we exchange.
For many moms, these interactions refill the emotional well and bring back the joy of child-rearing.
Yet, it’s not just about the kids; it’s also about carving out personal time for self-care.
Simple pleasures in life, like a quiet morning coffee or a long bath instead of a 5-minute shower, can give me so much peace.
My favorite phrase to remind you- self-care isn’t selfish! These moments allow us moms to unwind, recharge, and return to parenting duties with renewed energy and perspective.
After all, a happy mom is more capable of raising happy children and tackling problems head-on with more emotional bandwidth to keep her going.
2. Using Stress-Management Techniques
The daily grind of parenting can be a source of chronic stress, but there are tools at your disposal to help manage the pressure.
Stress-management techniques, such as meditation, exercise, and deep breathing, aren’t just buzzwords; they’re lifelines for mothers drowning in emotional exhaustion.
Whether it’s through the calm of yoga or the release of a good run, good endorphins, and physical exercise can get you moving and motivated, even during hard times.
Yoga is a big part of starting my day off right; I’ll do 10 minutes of yoga with my girls (it’s quiet time, though, and they’re free to do other things) and then 20 minutes on the treadmill with a show on.
It gets my blood flowing, and I get some me-time that isn’t just chilling on the couch.
But managing stress isn’t just about physical activities. Nutrition plays a role, too – staying hydrated and having balanced meals throughout the day play a large role in your energy.
I suggest having more small meals throughout the day to keep you full and focused. Try meal prepping on the weekend or choosing easy-to-make options that have plenty of nutrition.
Lately, my go-to’s have been yogurt with raspberries and chocolate chips, peanut butter and jelly oatmeal, lazy poke/sushi bowls, and salami sandwiches.
3. Setting Boundaries And Saying No
Saying ‘no’ is a powerful tool in a mother’s arsenal against burnout.
Setting boundaries about your needs isn’t about pushing others away; it’s about drawing a protective circle around your well-being.
Moms should feel empowered to decline commitments that don’t work for them and delegate tasks where possible.
In my mind, I fit this into the “spoon theory“- we only have so many spoons (limited energy) that can be used to tackle things throughout the day.
I have to plan out my days, and some days, I have less energy to get through things. Doing the dishes, washing laundry, playing games, picking up toys, and more all take energy.
Being burnout and recovering can mean canceling a playdate because I can’t handle watching 3 kids at once or asking Kelan to tackle meals for a few days because I need to nap to get through the day.
Dividing household tasks, avoiding the guilt tied to saying no, and recognizing that you can’t do everything are steps towards a healthier, burnout-free life.
4. Parental Self-Care
Parental self-care is the backbone of a healthy parenting journey. It’s not a luxury; it’s a necessity to keep yourself in the right headspace and physical health to be there for your kiddos.
Neglecting one’s mental health can exacerbate stress and feelings of isolation, but regular breaks, mindfulness, physical activity, and adequate sleep can provide a buffer against these strains.
Prioritizing activities that bring us joy is essential in managing maternal burnout and maintaining well-being during difficult times.
I make sure to have 30 minutes to journal every day, call my mom and some friends every week, take a long bath (alone, lol), and catch up on my reading.
I do this even when the girls are up and active, reminding them that they can play solo or together for a little bit while Mom reads on her own or calls Grandma.
Not only do I need me time, but kids do, too; teaching them about self-care and personal space early can help them prevent and work through burnout when they get older and face stress.
We can be great role models, Mama, even when we’re recovering from burnout!
5. Removing Some Stressor
Sometimes, the key to managing mom burnout lies in the art of subtraction—removing stressors that contribute to our daily strain.
In the relentless pursuit of balancing motherhood and life’s other demands, it can be enlightening to take a step back and see what can be removed from our overflowing plates.
Decluttering our physical spaces, like tackling the chaos of the playroom, can have a surprisingly calming effect.
A simplified space with less stuff makes it easier to clean and creates a more tranquil environment for both you and your children.
But it’s not just about physical clutter; emotional clutter needs attention too.
Distancing ourselves from relationships that drain our energy—like a friend who consistently mommy-shames or leans on us for too many favors—is equally important.
It’s crucial to set boundaries with people who contribute to our stress levels, especially when their expectations of us are not feasible or fair.
By consciously choosing to remove these stressors, we carve out a more serene and manageable existence.
6. Creating A Support System
On that note, we could all use a support system that can support us when we’ve hit mommy burnout.
I can’t imagine how we’d get by without our family and friends to help around the house, lend us an ear, or get us or the kids out of the house for a good time.
Establishing connections with friends, joining moms’ groups, or even forming new relationships through hobbies can combat the isolation and stress that feed burnout.
These networks provide emotional support, practical help, and a sense of community that is incredibly for moms.
Now comes the big help to recover from burnout—part of your support system can include a therapist or doctor who can give you advice and someone with whom you can work through issues.
Mental health support, including therapy and group sessions, can address underlying anxiety, depression, or other mental health issues.
It’s not for everyone, but I recommend trying therapy in most cases, especially if you’re struggling with burnout or depression.
I would struggle without having someone as my soundboard to work through things big and small to live my best life.
7. Becoming Comfortable With Being Imperfect
I don’t hate to say this- there’s no such thing as perfect! You can be a good mom and feel good about how you’re doing because no one will ever be the perfect parent.
Society’s myths of parenthood create unrealistic expectations that can lead to anxiety, inadequacy, and mom guilt.
By embracing imperfections, mothers practice self-compassion and teach their children a valuable lesson: it’s okay to make mistakes.
Mothers can adopt the mindset of being a ‘good enough mom,’ focusing on their achievements rather than their shortcomings.
By adjusting your expectations and accepting that not everything will be perfect or go exactly to plan, you alleviate the pressure that can lead to emotional exhaustion.
To create a more positive and authentic parenting experience, consider how you can be more flexible, set realistic expectations that don’t match the “perfect” vibe, and celebrate when things go well.
Part of my daily routine is reminding myself of the good I do with positive affirmations for moms to help me feel better before I tackle the day.
FAQs
What does mom burnout look like?
Mom burnout casts a shadow over everyday life and happiness.
It goes beyond the physical exhaustion related to the daily demands of parenting; it’s an internal battle in which mothers question their life choices and struggle to find joy.
A mom in the grips of burnout might experience:
- Feeling like a failure, despite her best efforts
- Detachment/emotional numbness
- Feeling mentally overwhelmed and overstimulated
- Physical symptoms like headaches and sleep problems
- Short temper and increased irritability
- Feelings of shame or guilt
- Struggling to show affection
- Lacking joy and happiness
- Doubts over parenting choices
- Feeling cut off from the world around them
If you’re experiencing these symptoms, it’s important to reduce your stressors, seek support, and take steps to prioritize self-care.
Can any parent get burnt out?
Parental burnout can affect anyone who finds themselves overrun by the relentless tides of parenting stress.
From balancing career demands with the duties of child-rearing to the constant pull of emotional and physical exhaustion, burnout represents a state of vital exhaustion.
The World Health Organization even recognizes it as a legitimate phenomenon that working parents and stay-at-home parents alike have faced for decades.
How does burnout happen?
Parental burnout sneaks in when the demands of parenting eclipse a mother’s available resources.
The combination of unrealistic expectations, a lack of support, neglecting self-care, financial stresses, life changes, the pursuit of perfection, and more leads to burnout.
The term ‘burnout’ originated in the 1970s, describing the depleted state of healthcare workers, but it has since expanded to include anyone who’s overworked – including overwhelmed parents.
As mothers grapple with heightened parenting expectations and the stress of juggling household and work duties, energy levels plummet, and fatigue sets in, paving the way for burnout to take root.
What is depleted mother syndrome?
Depleted mother syndrome, sometimes referred to as mom burnout, is an extreme form of emotional and physical exhaustion that leaves many mothers feeling:
- Hollow
- Unfulfilled
- Drained
- Fatigued
- Disconnected
This syndrome represents the darker side of parenting, where emotional detachment and a lack of fulfillment gnaw at the joy and satisfaction that motherhood is supposed to bring.
With doctors, this is the ultimate state of burnout that can be dangerous for parents and needs to be addressed for people to be healthy and care for their families.
It’s a stark reminder that maternal mental health is as critical as the well-being of a child and that addressing the needs of mothers is paramount in nurturing a healthy family dynamic.
Final Thoughts
As I reflect on my own journey through the thorny path of mom burnout, these tactics have helped me better myself and find my joy again.
If you’re a mom reading this and the symptoms resonate with you, if you’re feeling the weight of burnout bearing down on you, I implore you to start making changes today.
Prioritize yourself and your well-being, and remember that by taking care of yourself, you are taking care of your family.
Don’t wait for the burnout to consume you; take the first step towards a healthier, more balanced life now. Use my strategies, seek support, and know that it’s never too late to turn things around.
You deserve to feel good again, to reclaim the joy in your life and the vibrancy in your spirit!
